Wednesday, November 02, 2005
New Web Space
Chrisafir dot com :: Chris has now got a new web site with all of his and some of Zim's photos and stories from all over the world, including what really happened to us in Iraq and how we got out...
Check it out at http://www.chrisafir.com/
Check it out at http://www.chrisafir.com/
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Chris' First night in an Iraqi Jail
The first thing to cross my mind was that there were far too many people in the room. In retrospect this was the mother of all understatements, I felt like I was in an Amnesty International brochure. All of my worst fears in one and yet for some strange reason I was too shocked or scared be scared just yet. Forty nine pairs of eyes turned to look at me from what I would have considered a single cell. I stood there frozen with my back against the door, barely even enough room for me to stand and glanced around. In that brief moment everyone in the room looked like a terrorist, long beards and angry eyes, exactly the people that I was trying to avoid and now here I was locked up in a very small space with loads of them. Surely the fact that they were in jail meant that they were all hardened criminals and were willing to chop heads for the cause or even just for fun?
"Salaam..." I mumbled in a weak gesture of peace."Sit down, sit down" a voice came from somewhere near my right knee. There was some shuffling and a small space appeared, just about large enough for me to squat in."Where are you from?" the inevitable question. I winced as I answered them knowing that British citizens have few friends in Iraq, but also silently grateful that there weren't any British soldiers in this part of the country.
Before I could even stop and think what had happened to me I was summoned to meet the boss. It took me a minute or two to negotiate the five metres to the other end of the room, carefully stepping over the sprawling mass of people that lay in my way. Despite the intense lack of space and the boss and his sidekick being the two fattest people in the room, they were sitting in relative comfort and there was easily enough space for me to sit down next to them. For a moment I sat there in silence, their stares fixed upon me and I began to contemplate my fate. The very fact that there was a boss at all scared me as it played to one of the many stereotypes that I had about life in prison, the other being that I was going to spend the rest of my very short life being savagely ass raped by the fat sweaty mass that I saw before me, and, for that matter, anyone else who cared to have me as their bitch. Fortunately my first impressions were wrong and the fat sweaty mass extended his fat sweaty hand and introduced himself.
"You are English? Welcome to my room, my name is Naif. You know like the English word knife." With which he slowly drew his finger across his throat. "Ha ha, do not worry I am joking." I tried to crack a smile but forgive me if I didn't think it was the funniest of gags
"I like English. What is your name?" and with that we were friends. There was of course an ulterior motive for his 'charming' manner; he wanted someone to help him improve his English.
He called over an older Egyptian man called Ahmed, one of many, so we called him Caca Mouserie, (Egyptian Uncle). Caca Mouserie was one of the nicest people that I was to meet in prison. He had travelled the world as a ship's engineer, had lived for many years in Greece and Spain and spoke almost fluent English. Being able to speak to someone who could actually understand me made such a difference and he really helped me get through the first few hours. I was still visibly shaking and there was a tremble to my voice so he got out a small chess set carved from pieces of candle and we began to play to take my mind off things but somehow it made things worse as if I was putting off the inevitable. I have never tried so hard to loose a game of chess in my life, so after a few short minutes he carefully packed the game away and introduced me to some of the people that we were lying on.
"This is Karzan, he is the Kurdish taekwondo champion but he has been in here for the last seven months." Karzan was missing all of the toes on one foot and delighted in telling me that he had killed five people. He then proceeded to point people out and give me each person's body count, simulating the method in which each victim was dispatched in gruesome detail.
I suppose that I should have been scared, which of course I was, I was petrified, but everything was just washing over me. I was still under the impression that there had been a terrible mistake and I would wake up any minute safe and sound back in Turkey. All I could think of for ages was that today is my ex girlfriend's birthday. For the last few days I had been looking forward to e-mailing her as her birthday is the only real time that I feel welcome to communicate with her. Now as the reality of the situation dawned on me I came to realise that I wouldn't be able to wish her a happy birthday after all.
After a few hours the door was opened and food was handed out. This cut down on space even more as we all crouched with our knees under our chins and tucked in to the food which was a chicken drumstick and bread which we ate with our hands as there was only about ten plastic spoons to go around. There were four two litre plastic coke bottles of water that we were allowed do drink from but we had to be sparing as that is not very much between fifty people. Everything was shared by two in the cell and eating was no exception. Luckily for me on that first night I shared with Naif, who obviously normally ate alone, which meant that I was well fed as he could pretty much eat as much as he liked.
Shortly after we had finished our food we were allowed out to the toilet in twos and threes, but only for a minute or two. Prisoners assigned to the task would walk up and down shouting"De de hasara de, yalla de yalla de yalla yalla yalla", which loosely translates as get a fucking move on. There was no lock on the door which meant that they could kick on the door causing it to crash open on to your head if you spent any longer than a few second in the booth. This just added to the misery as we weren't even allowed to piss in peace. For some people this was a serious problem. Caca Mouserie, for example had diabetes and a bladder infection, neither of which benefited from this kind of treatment.
While I was washing my hands I was called over to talk with the guard who was supervising us all. I was a little nervous but I was to become very accustomed to being the object of attention. It turned out that he was the nicest guard in the whole prison and a really nice guy as well. His name was Ahmed and even thought the real motive for him calling me over was to practice his English he gave me a cigarette and assured me that there had been some sort of mistake and that I obviously wasn't a terrorist and he was quite sure that I would be released the following morning.
"Do not worry you will not stay here long. You are only here because you arrived after the director had gone home and no one can be released without his approval." He said "I am sure that you will be out of here in the morning."
He even went to another cell who were still eating and got me another chicken drumstick and a piece of bread. I felt quite bad as I was feeling so scared that I didn't really have an appetite and I knew that there were those in my cell who were watching me that would have loved to be eating it and were also more deserving of it. I sat there eating with him hoping that they wouldn't resent me too much for the preferential treatment I was getting.
All too quickly it was time to lock the door again and so I reluctantly went back in. As soon as the door was locked behind us people started praying. This took up at least half an hour as most of us would have to stand with our backs against the wall while fifteen or so people prayed and then they would swap and the whole process would start again. I was one of three people out of fifty that didn't pray.
This happened five times a day, the first being before sunrise every morning. To me it was just one more inconvenience that I could have done without, but for them it seemed to provide a real focus to their days. There were people in there that certainly weren't so religious on the outside and yet in here they were as pious as could be. The only two books that we were allowed in the cell were Korans and they were treated with the utmost respect. So much so in fact that I, as an infidel, wasn't even allowed to touch either of them, even if that meant waking someone else up to pass it along the cell.
As we felt the night draw in (it was hard to tell as there were no windows in the cell), we arranged ourselves for bed. Naif and his three friends, Mohammed Fil, Cac Najat and Karzan all had enough space to lie down comfortably. They took up about four metres squared between them, leaving fourteen square metres for the remaining forty six of us which works out as almost exactly one square foot of space each. We were all in pairs and took it in turns to lean against the wall and half lie down. We slept in three hour shifts. I say slept but being six foot I am taller then the average Iraqi and so had even less space to play with. The space was the worst thing to have to deal with but there were other factors too such as the strip light that was on twenty four hours a day which took some getting used to. Then there was the heat. Fifty men in one very small cell with no windows, you can imagine that it got pretty hot. Thankfully it was only spring.
For my first night I was paired up with this kind but very annoying man called Kawa who slept against the door. This was kind of a mixed blessing as the strip under the door was our only supply of fresh air, so I was relatively cool, but everyone else in the room became very concerned that I might block it up so I was constantly being told off in either Arabic of Kurdish, neither of which I could understand. I hardly even closed my eyes that night and after three hours Kawa and I changed places, but three hours after that he refused to change again so I spent the night sitting up trying to get whatever sleep I could until five thirty when I had to get up to make room for people praying...
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Full Moon Rising
We arrived in Mardin as the sun was setting and the moon was rising. The Syrian plain is the view from our window and the prospect for tomorrow, but Zim is still without a visa.
We went in search of an alleged synagogue, but were led to a church by a child in the dark.
We went in search of an alleged synagogue, but were led to a church by a child in the dark.
The Legend of Dirbakir
Again we found ourselves having to say goodbye to the friends we had made. The day was not solely dedicated to goodbyes however, as we also made new friends.
We were taken to a house in the heart of the old city by our friend ''the old man from the hotel.'' We followed him down narrow alleys where children's playful screams (occasionally mixed with the call to prayer) were the music to their mother's doing their washing and meat hug in shop windows. The house belonged to another friendly old man who, in no time was playing a Kurish instrument & singing to us. We enjoyed tea, ''nargillah'' and live music to start the day.
In the afternoon we walked for twenty minutes to say goodbye to our friends the pigeon shepherds who turned out not to be there. We instead said goodbye to thirty people we had never met before. To add to the awkward we shock all of their hands. After about ten we realized it was just weird, but that we still had a long way to go.
We were taken to a house in the heart of the old city by our friend ''the old man from the hotel.'' We followed him down narrow alleys where children's playful screams (occasionally mixed with the call to prayer) were the music to their mother's doing their washing and meat hug in shop windows. The house belonged to another friendly old man who, in no time was playing a Kurish instrument & singing to us. We enjoyed tea, ''nargillah'' and live music to start the day.
In the afternoon we walked for twenty minutes to say goodbye to our friends the pigeon shepherds who turned out not to be there. We instead said goodbye to thirty people we had never met before. To add to the awkward we shock all of their hands. After about ten we realized it was just weird, but that we still had a long way to go.
Monday, March 21, 2005
A lot of people with a lot of gas
On the way to Newroz celebrations
Kurdish Pride
Displaying this flag on any other day is liable to get you arrested, or worse.
Newroz Piroz Be
Happy New Year!
Today we celebrated Kurdish New Year in style. We joined ten thousand people for a New Year's celebration in a field a few miles out of town. After losing ourselves in the crowd we found each other again on the roof of a warehouse. Perched there we watched a sea of red, green, and yellow (the colors of Kurdistan). The party lasted all day and culminated in a concert by Ibrahim Tatlisis, quite the star in Turkey. It was an honor to be a part of the celebrations and to be a witness to the unity of the Kurdish people.
Today we celebrated Kurdish New Year in style. We joined ten thousand people for a New Year's celebration in a field a few miles out of town. After losing ourselves in the crowd we found each other again on the roof of a warehouse. Perched there we watched a sea of red, green, and yellow (the colors of Kurdistan). The party lasted all day and culminated in a concert by Ibrahim Tatlisis, quite the star in Turkey. It was an honor to be a part of the celebrations and to be a witness to the unity of the Kurdish people.
Saturday, March 19, 2005
The Cheeseman
(Theme song of the Cheeseman is the same as that of Shaft)
Today was a day of meetings all over town. Our first appointment was with a group of pigeon shepherds. We were invited to sit for a while and spent the morning talking in an old man's shanty in the sun.
Appointment number two was with an old man who lives in our motel. He took us on a walk to a mosque that used to be a church.
Appointment number three was epic: The Cheeseman! Our friend from the cheese and chilly shop who invited us back to his "bachelor pad" where we spent the evening on his roof around a fire. Quite soon we realized that the Cheeseman spoke German and communication improved for a time before declining again on account of his heavy drinking. A Kurdish wedding nearby provided us with music. One of the evenings many highlights was the cheeseman pissing into the stream that dissected his house.
As we retired we had another brief meeting with the old man from the motel, but the cheeseman was a hard act to follow.
Today was a day of meetings all over town. Our first appointment was with a group of pigeon shepherds. We were invited to sit for a while and spent the morning talking in an old man's shanty in the sun.
Appointment number two was with an old man who lives in our motel. He took us on a walk to a mosque that used to be a church.
Appointment number three was epic: The Cheeseman! Our friend from the cheese and chilly shop who invited us back to his "bachelor pad" where we spent the evening on his roof around a fire. Quite soon we realized that the Cheeseman spoke German and communication improved for a time before declining again on account of his heavy drinking. A Kurdish wedding nearby provided us with music. One of the evenings many highlights was the cheeseman pissing into the stream that dissected his house.
As we retired we had another brief meeting with the old man from the motel, but the cheeseman was a hard act to follow.
Thursday, March 17, 2005
All the fun of the fair with none of the height restrictions
Today we were invited by a Haji for tea as we walked around the walls of Dirkabir in Kurdish Mesopotamia.
After sitting for a considerable time we met his son and a while later were introduced to a friend of theirs as he shouted a word we had not heard in weeks; "Hash-hash!" Being guests in their country it would have been rude to refuse. Our group soon walked off and smoked few joints. We were then taken down the hill away from the city walls and into a field on the banks of the Tigers River where they soon readied a fire for making more hash. As one of our new friends was cooking up the hash we heard gun shots in the distance and in responses one of the men in our group pulled a gun out which he soon used to empty a clip into a field of Romaine lettuce (Marror in Kurdish). Under normal circumstances this might have been alarming but we have grown quite accustomed to expecting the unexpected. Nobody raised an eyebrow so we continued chatting and soon were enjoying the fruits of our labor.
Making Hash the Kurdish way
Our first impression of Kurdish hospitality was much like that of Turkish hospitality nearly two months ago: leaving little to be desired.
The epilogue to our wonderful day: We scaled the city walls, enjoyed a meal of cheese, bread, and chilies. As we admired the city below from a perfect view we witnessed a minor blackout.
After sitting for a considerable time we met his son and a while later were introduced to a friend of theirs as he shouted a word we had not heard in weeks; "Hash-hash!" Being guests in their country it would have been rude to refuse. Our group soon walked off and smoked few joints. We were then taken down the hill away from the city walls and into a field on the banks of the Tigers River where they soon readied a fire for making more hash. As one of our new friends was cooking up the hash we heard gun shots in the distance and in responses one of the men in our group pulled a gun out which he soon used to empty a clip into a field of Romaine lettuce (Marror in Kurdish). Under normal circumstances this might have been alarming but we have grown quite accustomed to expecting the unexpected. Nobody raised an eyebrow so we continued chatting and soon were enjoying the fruits of our labor.
Making Hash the Kurdish way
Our first impression of Kurdish hospitality was much like that of Turkish hospitality nearly two months ago: leaving little to be desired.
The epilogue to our wonderful day: We scaled the city walls, enjoyed a meal of cheese, bread, and chilies. As we admired the city below from a perfect view we witnessed a minor blackout.
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Facial slug
Zim has a moustache. It is offensive in the extreme and quite frankly unacceptable. I would like to quote him from an earlier post if I may:
"I am not sure if you have ever been in a confined space with a group of mustaches, but it is more then frightening. It is down right disturbing" (Turbulence - 11 March)
"I am not sure if you have ever been in a confined space with a group of mustaches, but it is more then frightening. It is down right disturbing" (Turbulence - 11 March)
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Van Tastic
We would like to add that we are now in Van, a place made famous by cats with two different colored eyes and a large lake.
Monday, March 14, 2005
I am proud to call my self a Türk.
At Gunpoint I would be proud to call myself anything!
In search of Noah
Our journey east into Kurdistan took us to Doğubeyazit, the home of Mount Ararat and the final resting place of Noah's Ark (as legend has it). I wish there were something interesting that I could write about it but unfortunately such is not the case. It is a huge mountain with snow on it...
Sadly the most exciting part of the trip was the massive military base at the foot of the mountain which is home to thousands of tanks and the large amounts of propaganda which are no doubt there to remind the Kurdish population how happy they are to be Turkish.
Ishakpaşa Serai
As we walked past the base to Ishakpaşa Serai (a fort that is on the 100Lira note) a group of children on their way home from school walked and entertained us. If we stopped for more then a second we were whistled at by the whistle bitch, a soldier whose only job on the base is to stand at the fence and whistle if people stop to look.
We explored the mountains around the fort and tried to get a better view of Ararat to see the ark itself, but wouldn't you know it.... It isn't there.
Peek-a-boo
Mount Ararat just visible behind a bullet holed sign
Sunday, March 13, 2005
Awful Man
The man on the bus who listens to all his ringtones and thinks its cool!
Saturday, March 12, 2005
A Shaky Start
This morning as we were reading our book deciding where we would venture to next we came across many mentions of earthquakes and started discussing how it would be crazy to experience one. An hour or so later as we were still sitting in our room discussing a plan for the day our beds began to shake. We both looked at each other with some uncertainty as to what was happening, but when out the window we saw that our building was not the only thing shaking we soon became aware of what was happening. Though the earthquake was small and no damage was done it was still slightly unnerving to have the earth shake. Being on the second floor of a building with five floors above, we were lucky that the earth shock as little as it did.
Having now been struck by lightening together (while swimming in a storm in China) and in an earthquake together we are both very appreciative to still be alive.
Having now been struck by lightening together (while swimming in a storm in China) and in an earthquake together we are both very appreciative to still be alive.
Friday, March 11, 2005
Turbulence
What was supposed to be a normal bus trip from Göreme (Cappadocian region) to Erzerum (Eastern Turkey on the Iranian border) proved to be far from it. As early as buying the tickets we found that this trip was doomed. The ticket seller in Göreme decided to tell us that there were no tickets to our destination just because we asked another bus company about there prices. As we just sat and waited for the bus regardless he figured that in the end he would sell us the ticket, but as the bus was already in the station we had little time to work out the details. We were also short with money and when Chris went to withdraw the difference the machine ate his card. Lucky for us there was a different machine around the corner and with tickets in hand we were off. Outside snow continued to fall horizontally with increasing vigor. After a bus switch an hour away we were off once again with a bus full of mustachioed men. The funniest of our bus company however was an older woman seated across from us who was holding on to the bus for dear life and had a look of fear that I have never seen someone maintain for such a long period of time. As we were sleeping she left us, but her reason for fear soon became clear as we awoke to a load noise. The noise sounded like a mountain was falling on the bus and we began to feel the drivers loss of control as soon as the sound began. We are not sure what exactly caused us to hit the side of a mountain, but no reason is a good enough. With no one on the bus speaking English there are a number of things that could have happened depending on what the sign language was intended to mean. Either way, we were now in the middle of nowhere being slowly snowed in on the "side" of the road. As time passed we both felt it best to resume sleeping but the ever growing boredom of our band of mustachioed men soon became too much for them and with us as their only chance of entertainment they soon woke us. I am not sure if you have ever been in a confined space with a group of mustaches, but it is more then frightening. It is down right disturbing especially if they are talking to you in Turkish and so bored they will not take sleeping as a legitimate form of escape from the overwhelming situation. I have had nightmares that I enjoyed more.
As we were the only ones going to Erzerum, our bus bitch (the bus steward) stopped the next bus going our way and rushed us onto our new uncrashed bus. Just when we thought we were finally on our way however a man came to collect money from us and we were again faced with conflict. Having paid for a ticket to our destination once already we were unwilling to hand over more money. Had we known that we would pay twice were certainly would not have agreed to switch buses, but with that not an option anymore we were at a loss. Our lack of Turkish proved useful as it bought us time, but the man demanding money grew impatient very fast and began to threaten us (with force) that our choices were pay or be left. The threat of being thrown off would not have carried so much weight were it not for the storm outside and the fact that now were were miles from anything. Looking outside white was all there was to be seen. Getting out in the middle of nowhere with a very limited knowledge of Turkish in the midst of a blizzard was hardly an option. Lucky for us a blind man who spoke English calmed the man down and began to translate for us. After an hour and a half of this the blind man became tired of his job and the angry defeated man (as we were clearly never going to pay or get off the bus) just sat behind us and watched us with evil eyes for the duration of the ride.
When we finally arrived we walked as fast as one can without running in the knee high snow and found our way to a cheap place to leave our things
As we were the only ones going to Erzerum, our bus bitch (the bus steward) stopped the next bus going our way and rushed us onto our new uncrashed bus. Just when we thought we were finally on our way however a man came to collect money from us and we were again faced with conflict. Having paid for a ticket to our destination once already we were unwilling to hand over more money. Had we known that we would pay twice were certainly would not have agreed to switch buses, but with that not an option anymore we were at a loss. Our lack of Turkish proved useful as it bought us time, but the man demanding money grew impatient very fast and began to threaten us (with force) that our choices were pay or be left. The threat of being thrown off would not have carried so much weight were it not for the storm outside and the fact that now were were miles from anything. Looking outside white was all there was to be seen. Getting out in the middle of nowhere with a very limited knowledge of Turkish in the midst of a blizzard was hardly an option. Lucky for us a blind man who spoke English calmed the man down and began to translate for us. After an hour and a half of this the blind man became tired of his job and the angry defeated man (as we were clearly never going to pay or get off the bus) just sat behind us and watched us with evil eyes for the duration of the ride.
When we finally arrived we walked as fast as one can without running in the knee high snow and found our way to a cheap place to leave our things
Monday, March 07, 2005
Dino... Day 5
We awoke to a boiled egg and tea breakfast and then due to dwindling food supplies we packed up and headed to the next town. We were also in search of cave #3. At the village we paid a visit to our friend the shop keeper who, surprising as it may seem, was watching the oscars. We joined him, enjoyed tea and re-supplied. As we left the town neither of us could get over how surreal our little excursion into the village had been.
While exploring more tunnels and caves we stumbled upon the perfect cave #3, a luxury penthouse apartment and with expert timing as rain began during our wood gathering. After hauling the best part of a tree up the 20 foot vertical hole that led to our cave we set about burning it which turned out to be a dismal failure. So much so that after 1 hour and lots of paper later our fire was not even adequate enough to bother the bat that flew in to it. He seemed so comfortable in fact that he decided to stay there for a photo.
With a mounting sense of failure we reluctantly left the cave and started the dark journey to the next town aided only by a candle which proved to be more of a hindrance than a help. After losing our way many times we eventually came to a beautiful waterfall lit by the stars.
When we eventually came to the town we found shelter and hot water.
But who took the photo?
While exploring more tunnels and caves we stumbled upon the perfect cave #3, a luxury penthouse apartment and with expert timing as rain began during our wood gathering. After hauling the best part of a tree up the 20 foot vertical hole that led to our cave we set about burning it which turned out to be a dismal failure. So much so that after 1 hour and lots of paper later our fire was not even adequate enough to bother the bat that flew in to it. He seemed so comfortable in fact that he decided to stay there for a photo.
With a mounting sense of failure we reluctantly left the cave and started the dark journey to the next town aided only by a candle which proved to be more of a hindrance than a help. After losing our way many times we eventually came to a beautiful waterfall lit by the stars.
When we eventually came to the town we found shelter and hot water.
But who took the photo?
Sunday, March 06, 2005
Barney... Day 4
Popped next door to check out our neighbouring caves and crawled into a small opening in the ground that led us in to various chambers. We soon found ourselves deep underground crawling through long small tunnels on our bellies like Indiana Jones. Oh how we were scared. When we could take the fear no longer we began climbing and exploring the upper levels which after much scrambling up vertical tunnels we found ourselves in a large church 3/4 of the way up the cliff face. The back wall had colapsed in to the valley 150 feet below leaving us exposed to the sheer magnitude of our location.
The view down the valley
We sat and smoked a joint at the top but when the rock that we were sitting on began to slide off the edge we decided that it was time to come back down.
To celebrate our days exploration we enjoyed a pasta and boiled egg feast that night.
The view down the valley
We sat and smoked a joint at the top but when the rock that we were sitting on began to slide off the edge we decided that it was time to come back down.
To celebrate our days exploration we enjoyed a pasta and boiled egg feast that night.
Saturday, March 05, 2005
Betty...Day 3
Spent a long lazy day lounging around the cave. Zim was sick - caused by drinking the river water. Chris, solid as a rock after building an immune system to rival that of God's after drinking Afghani river water, got bored of mocking Zim and set to work turning the blanket into a sleeping bag.
That evening we spent many more hours abusing our lungs and eyes nursing our smoke pile that produced little fire, but enough to pull off tea and momentary warmth.
Beautiful clear night and almost every star was visible but the fear of savage beasts and marauding psychos prevented us from going out so we could only enjoy the view from the realative safety of our 3rd floor terrace.
That evening we spent many more hours abusing our lungs and eyes nursing our smoke pile that produced little fire, but enough to pull off tea and momentary warmth.
Beautiful clear night and almost every star was visible but the fear of savage beasts and marauding psychos prevented us from going out so we could only enjoy the view from the realative safety of our 3rd floor terrace.
Friday, March 04, 2005
Fred...Day 2
Relocated to the perfect cave #2.
3 floors of cave luxury at an affordable price. This cave was better than most homes we have seen and we had it all to ourselves - well us and a pair of bats. We left our bags there and continued down the gorge to the next village to get supplies - notably a blanket. On our return as the rain increased we quickly took shelter under a boulder with 2 fishermen who taught us how to throw a net - which we don't have. Once back home we dropped off the supplies and took the axe to find some fire wood which we soon realised we should have done prior to the rain.
After as much smoke inhalation as one might immagine from trying to start a fire with wet wood we settled down to a dinner of cheese omlette and much tea. Chris slept under a blanket-Rejoice
3 floors of cave luxury at an affordable price. This cave was better than most homes we have seen and we had it all to ourselves - well us and a pair of bats. We left our bags there and continued down the gorge to the next village to get supplies - notably a blanket. On our return as the rain increased we quickly took shelter under a boulder with 2 fishermen who taught us how to throw a net - which we don't have. Once back home we dropped off the supplies and took the axe to find some fire wood which we soon realised we should have done prior to the rain.
After as much smoke inhalation as one might immagine from trying to start a fire with wet wood we settled down to a dinner of cheese omlette and much tea. Chris slept under a blanket-Rejoice
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Wilmaa. Cave life day 1
Arrived in the Ilhara valley after a series of trains busses and minibusses from Izmir via Ankara - again!. The gorge is a 16km velley that the guidebook (Thanks MJ) describes as "as beautiful place as one might conceive". After being chased down the valley by the ticket inspector we decided to get our moneys worth and immediatly set to work finding the perfect cave home.
Cave #1 had a seperate bedroom with a large living area and an ideal fire pit which we had soon transformed into a raging inferno. Cave #1 was sadly lacking in a chimney and while smiking ourselves to the very brink of death we decided that the next day we would have to find a better home.
That night Zim slept in the warmth and luxury of his sleeping bag - he even wore pyjamas - while a fully clothed Chris lay huddled in a ball on the floor with not so much as a cotton sheet to protect him. Tomorrow must get blanket!
Cave #1 had a seperate bedroom with a large living area and an ideal fire pit which we had soon transformed into a raging inferno. Cave #1 was sadly lacking in a chimney and while smiking ourselves to the very brink of death we decided that the next day we would have to find a better home.
That night Zim slept in the warmth and luxury of his sleeping bag - he even wore pyjamas - while a fully clothed Chris lay huddled in a ball on the floor with not so much as a cotton sheet to protect him. Tomorrow must get blanket!
Monday, February 28, 2005
Small Bag Big Axe
Despite having whittled my bag down to the smallest possible, I still have room for my axe which now comes everywhere with me. I am very supprised that more people havent tried to take it off me. Even as I pass through metal detectors the security just give me a look like I am mad and let me through. Surely a madman with an axe in a crowded public place is a bad thing?
All my worldly possesions
All my worldly possesions
Sunday, February 27, 2005
Izmir
We arrived in Izmir on a mission to see a man about a dog and were met by said man off the bus who immediately set the wheels in motion. Despite being the good friend of a good friend, he was no friend of ours. From the outset he and his friends expected us to buy them drinks and pay for everything! When we could afford to buy them no more we went back to one of their houses where we really got to know them better. The crazy man, The even crazier one
This man was more in need of mental help than anyone I have ever met in my entire life
and the frightening one with the tattoos
who had recently spent 5 years inside for a crime that they were unwilling to explain.
A trip to the disco later in the evening was aborted after our host pulled a whitey so we went back home and spent the evening listening the the crazed rantings of one guy while being beaten by the dog we had just acquired
This man was more in need of mental help than anyone I have ever met in my entire life
and the frightening one with the tattoos
who had recently spent 5 years inside for a crime that they were unwilling to explain.
A trip to the disco later in the evening was aborted after our host pulled a whitey so we went back home and spent the evening listening the the crazed rantings of one guy while being beaten by the dog we had just acquired
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Goodbye Kalkan
By the time we left kalkan we had made so many friends that we actually had to go round saying good byes to everyone. We had met some truly wonderful people, most notably our friend Carol whose name is actually Karen
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Work-shy, I think not
Our hunt for the Holy Grail took us to Kalkan where within minutes we had befriended half of the town and settled in nicely. Kalkan is a busy English colony in summer but a quiet building site at this time of year which we became part of after we became friends with one of it's hardest workers.
We were invited for a free lunch on our first day and then decided to accompany our friend Berdush to his work where we helped him relocate a large community of rocks.
Our latest best friend - Berdush
5 hours manual labour later we were very happy not to be winter builders in Kalkan, and respected our friend much more for his hard work. More than berdush however, we respect Jay Jay who did half a days shift and got more than twice the work done. To Jay Jay rock relocation was more of a gentle workout.
Jay doing more than twice what chris can
We were invited for a free lunch on our first day and then decided to accompany our friend Berdush to his work where we helped him relocate a large community of rocks.
Our latest best friend - Berdush
5 hours manual labour later we were very happy not to be winter builders in Kalkan, and respected our friend much more for his hard work. More than berdush however, we respect Jay Jay who did half a days shift and got more than twice the work done. To Jay Jay rock relocation was more of a gentle workout.
Jay doing more than twice what chris can
Sunday, February 20, 2005
Murphy's Law
The next chapter of our journey was to be a 500 km walk along the Mediterranean coast. This month long walk was one of the Sunday Times' top ten walks. In our trademark style there was little to no planning involved before we set out armed only with an axe. Being the first time either of us had owned an axe we were giddy at the thought of being hunter-gatherers and getting back to our roots. (More gathering and less hunting as neither of us has the stomach for murder.) After buying one small bag of instant soups, tea bags, and bread we began our walk from the predominantly English town, Ölüdeniz, which at this time of year is nothing more than a beach-front ghost town.
Room wıth a view - The lagoon at Ölüdeniz
As we entered the forest the sun was beginning to set and so we made ''camp'' on the headland overlooking the lagoon in the bay. To say that we were unprepared is an understatement. After making a fire and destroying a few trees we camped for the night on a bed of ferns using a tiny piece of plastic that we had found on the way as a (useless) wind break. Before we attempted to sleep we stoked the fire and drank some beers we brought for our first night in our new home, the wilderness. We were not asleep for very long when we were woken by the drizzle which we ignored for a few hours in the hope that it would pass. Soon drizzle turned into rain and rain into a thunderstorm. We quickly packed up our things and started back towards the town. Walking in the dark and rain made it hard to find the path and of course we were lost in no time. To make matters worse we stumbled across a wild boar. With axe in hand we continued to find our way back to the path. When we eventually made it back to the town we tried in vain to find a place for the night, but with nothing open we started along the road to the next town (10 km away). Thankfully we were picked up by a drunk bar owner who spent the whole ride complaining about drunk drivers.
Two hours after leaving our camp we were finally back in a warm and dry place to sleep. This was a valuable learning experience for all of us. We have decided to stay in this town buying the essential supplies we neglected to buy prior to our first ill fated trip. (Sleeping bag, tent/rain proofing, food and water, a map and most importantly an egg producing chicken!)
WARNING:
The events above have been conducted by professionals (ha) and under no circumstances should you try to recreate the events in your own home.
Room wıth a view - The lagoon at Ölüdeniz
As we entered the forest the sun was beginning to set and so we made ''camp'' on the headland overlooking the lagoon in the bay. To say that we were unprepared is an understatement. After making a fire and destroying a few trees we camped for the night on a bed of ferns using a tiny piece of plastic that we had found on the way as a (useless) wind break. Before we attempted to sleep we stoked the fire and drank some beers we brought for our first night in our new home, the wilderness. We were not asleep for very long when we were woken by the drizzle which we ignored for a few hours in the hope that it would pass. Soon drizzle turned into rain and rain into a thunderstorm. We quickly packed up our things and started back towards the town. Walking in the dark and rain made it hard to find the path and of course we were lost in no time. To make matters worse we stumbled across a wild boar. With axe in hand we continued to find our way back to the path. When we eventually made it back to the town we tried in vain to find a place for the night, but with nothing open we started along the road to the next town (10 km away). Thankfully we were picked up by a drunk bar owner who spent the whole ride complaining about drunk drivers.
Two hours after leaving our camp we were finally back in a warm and dry place to sleep. This was a valuable learning experience for all of us. We have decided to stay in this town buying the essential supplies we neglected to buy prior to our first ill fated trip. (Sleeping bag, tent/rain proofing, food and water, a map and most importantly an egg producing chicken!)
WARNING:
The events above have been conducted by professionals (ha) and under no circumstances should you try to recreate the events in your own home.
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Pamukale rhymes with broccoli
Pamukale is a very weird and wonderful place, some might say magical. Indeed in days gone by the waters of the hot spring there were thought to have magical healing powers. All bollocks of course but you know what these ancient types were like. The main attraction is these incredible lime terraces that spill hot water over the mountain in to the valley below.
The wind at the top of the mountain was so strong that even a fat bastard like Zim had trouble standing, but the bad weather meant that we had the entire place to ourselves. We made a deal with one of the people working at our hostel to drive us in the back way for a tip that would be less than the entrance fee and we were dropped off behind this Roman theatre.
Herapolis Amphitheatre
We found out later that the student discount would have saved us more money, but there is nothing better than slipping into a place for free only to find that you are the only ones there. It makes it less discreet, but more fun. After we walked through the ruins of Rome we found ourselves in the famous limestone pools of hot-spring water. The water was slightly less hot and more on the luke warm side, but we took off our shoes and walked through the pools none the less. We were yelled at from above at one point but we have found that most of the time if you are doing something wrong where no one can come get you then you are safe from punishment and we continued our descent without worry.
Not quite the weather for a dip
In closing, we hope to remove the stigma attached to Pamukale as every photo and brochure of this place carries the same woman with her fat ass hanging out of a poorly designed swimsuit.
The wind at the top of the mountain was so strong that even a fat bastard like Zim had trouble standing, but the bad weather meant that we had the entire place to ourselves. We made a deal with one of the people working at our hostel to drive us in the back way for a tip that would be less than the entrance fee and we were dropped off behind this Roman theatre.
Herapolis Amphitheatre
We found out later that the student discount would have saved us more money, but there is nothing better than slipping into a place for free only to find that you are the only ones there. It makes it less discreet, but more fun. After we walked through the ruins of Rome we found ourselves in the famous limestone pools of hot-spring water. The water was slightly less hot and more on the luke warm side, but we took off our shoes and walked through the pools none the less. We were yelled at from above at one point but we have found that most of the time if you are doing something wrong where no one can come get you then you are safe from punishment and we continued our descent without worry.
Not quite the weather for a dip
In closing, we hope to remove the stigma attached to Pamukale as every photo and brochure of this place carries the same woman with her fat ass hanging out of a poorly designed swimsuit.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Lost in a very small dark cave
We are not as scared as we look!
Sun Worship
On the day before valentines day I prayed to the Sun - My new God - to deliver unto us two Japanese girls for us to spend Valentines day with. The very next day bright and early who should join us in our cave hideout, but two girls from Japan. They weren't Japanese, they were Thai, but they both live in Japan so I could hardly fault the sun for that. I have finally stumbled across a religion that grants wishes!
A Gift from the Sun
They were very lovely girls and laughed at everything that we said and many things that we didn't. More often that not they would misunderstand what we said and reply to a completely different question, but we managed to get by. They spoke mostly Thai which is such a beautiful language. It makes them sound like a deaf cat if you can imagine such a thing, like a muted whine. Unfortunately they were only staying in Cappadocia for a few days and so we didn't have much time to spend with them so we decided to join them on the next leg of their adventure to Pamukale to see some Roman ruins and bizarre white terraces. So the following day we all upped and left leaving much of Cappadocia unexplored so we will have to come back again soon.
Sunset over Göreme
A Gift from the Sun
They were very lovely girls and laughed at everything that we said and many things that we didn't. More often that not they would misunderstand what we said and reply to a completely different question, but we managed to get by. They spoke mostly Thai which is such a beautiful language. It makes them sound like a deaf cat if you can imagine such a thing, like a muted whine. Unfortunately they were only staying in Cappadocia for a few days and so we didn't have much time to spend with them so we decided to join them on the next leg of their adventure to Pamukale to see some Roman ruins and bizarre white terraces. So the following day we all upped and left leaving much of Cappadocia unexplored so we will have to come back again soon.
Sunset over Göreme
Monday, February 14, 2005
Happy Valentines Day.
This is for that special girl in my life...
I am sure that you all know who you are.
I am sure that you all know who you are.
Sunday, February 13, 2005
My Arse
Contemplative Pose
Shoulder Popping fun
Today will be spent walking for the third day in Cappadocia. It is actually a perfectly romantic place if you were here with the right company. Chris is good fun and a great guy to travel with, but I have lines and gender is one of them. Either way it is beautiful. It is quite the wierdest place ever, sort of like a cross between Narnia and Luke Skywalker's home planet. The landscape has been formed by the Volcano which can be seen in the distance threatening everything below it in a sort of cute way as it is topped in snow. It is a cross between water erosion and volcanic ash mixed with Christian Churches and let to sit for hundreds of years that has sketched the backdrop.
Large Penis like monstrosities dot the landscape
It is an orchard of ash cones that ascend from the valleys. Some with animal tracks in the snow as the only evidence of life and others with churches or homes inside . Many with walls down and others still with paintings on the walls. The views are amazing and the diversity of the portrait makes it an easy place to just walk around for hours. The peaks with rooms add an element of fun and adventure. There are caves and tunnels, cliffs and snow slides. It is an amazing place to wander and with the snow everywhere it becomes magical.
Someone's House - Belive it or not
We have spent two full days just walking, climbing and eating icicles. It was while I was climbing into the third floor of a "house" or old church (it was too weathered to say for sure) that I managed to injure myself. Chris had climbed to the third floor by using some footholds worked into the wall. The footholds lead to an enclosed area about 7 feet above the ground and directly over a hole that lead to the first floor. The enclosed bit had foot/hand holds on all four sides and was itself around 6 feet high. All of this is confusing I know, but really it was just climbing about a story or so over a hole that would put you down two stories if you fell while climbing. Chris went up with no issue. I also had little problem. I was around half way up with I used my left hand to lift myself and as it twisted a little my shoulder dislocated. Luckily I did not fall as it would have made for much worst injuries. I popped my shoulder back into place finished climbing up and then eventually down. It has since left me with quite a pain in my shoulder and lifting my arm above my head is an issue at which I tend to complain about, but all in all I am fine and today is another day of exploration. We have been having a very Indiana Jones last few days. We are even living in a cave!
Large Penis like monstrosities dot the landscape
It is an orchard of ash cones that ascend from the valleys. Some with animal tracks in the snow as the only evidence of life and others with churches or homes inside . Many with walls down and others still with paintings on the walls. The views are amazing and the diversity of the portrait makes it an easy place to just walk around for hours. The peaks with rooms add an element of fun and adventure. There are caves and tunnels, cliffs and snow slides. It is an amazing place to wander and with the snow everywhere it becomes magical.
Someone's House - Belive it or not
We have spent two full days just walking, climbing and eating icicles. It was while I was climbing into the third floor of a "house" or old church (it was too weathered to say for sure) that I managed to injure myself. Chris had climbed to the third floor by using some footholds worked into the wall. The footholds lead to an enclosed area about 7 feet above the ground and directly over a hole that lead to the first floor. The enclosed bit had foot/hand holds on all four sides and was itself around 6 feet high. All of this is confusing I know, but really it was just climbing about a story or so over a hole that would put you down two stories if you fell while climbing. Chris went up with no issue. I also had little problem. I was around half way up with I used my left hand to lift myself and as it twisted a little my shoulder dislocated. Luckily I did not fall as it would have made for much worst injuries. I popped my shoulder back into place finished climbing up and then eventually down. It has since left me with quite a pain in my shoulder and lifting my arm above my head is an issue at which I tend to complain about, but all in all I am fine and today is another day of exploration. We have been having a very Indiana Jones last few days. We are even living in a cave!
Saturday, February 12, 2005
Balloon-tastic
Sunrise over Göreme - Cappadocia
Unfortunately neither Zim nor I had a spare $200 to spend on a balloon ride. Donations will be graciously accepted!
Friday, February 11, 2005
No Syria for the American
Our trip to Ankara, Turkey was planned for one reason and that was for us to get visas to Syria. We both knew that we needed letters of recommendation from our embassies and so as soon as they opened we were there at the British Embassy where Chris paid good money to get a letter saying he we a good enough Brit to go to Syria. After the British Embassy we went down the road to visit the American Embassy. They were less helpful and only offered me a letter informing the Syrians that no such letter would be given to American citizens for visas. I would be happier to be a pawn for a country who's politics I supported more, but I guess we don't get to choose. The woman who was the speaker for the Syria government couldn't have been more rude to me, but I guess she thought it was a choice I had. She when as far as to practically yell at me that she had memorized the letter the Embassy had given me and no visas were given to people without the fore mentioned document. Eitherway, I am not pleased as my plan was to go to Syria with Chris and now that looks less possible. According to the Syrian's I can go to Washington DC or I can't go to Syria.
Thursday, February 10, 2005
Bye Bye Istanbul
Istanbul is a lovely place. I recomend everyone to go there. We met beautiful people everywhere we went and the place is pretty nice to look at too
Blue Mosque - Sultanahmet
Blue Mosque - Sultanahmet
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Snow Palm
I am sure that this is not supposed to happen
Armed fun
Within a few days we have become best friends with our new-found Turkish chums. We spend nearly all day with them for days and they insist that we never leave and always stay one day longer. The first time that we spent the night at our new friend's house we were introduced to the enormous collection of weaponry that he keeps under his bed. Not only does he have numerous swords and knives to suit any occasion, he also has two fully loaded handguns. We were even more suprised to find out that he has one of these guns on him nearly all of the time, like our own personal armed escort. I am sure that for Zim this is quite a normal thing but that kinda thing just isn't normal where I come from. We are still not altogether sure why he feels so paranoid as it is certainly not a particularly dangerous city (unless you run into him) and to make it even harder to understand, he is just about the nicest person that you could ever hope to meet.
An armed population is the best defence against tyranny!!
He insists on taking us out everywhere and paying for everything as well as escorting us home at night or letting us stay at his house. What more could we ask for... All of this and we can't even communicate properly. We have picked up loads of Turkish in the short time that we have been here and so with the aid of Tarzanja (Sign language) we can say pretty much anything.
An armed population is the best defence against tyranny!!
He insists on taking us out everywhere and paying for everything as well as escorting us home at night or letting us stay at his house. What more could we ask for... All of this and we can't even communicate properly. We have picked up loads of Turkish in the short time that we have been here and so with the aid of Tarzanja (Sign language) we can say pretty much anything.
Ahmet - Despite appearances the nicest guy that you could hope to meet. (Names have been changed)
Exactly what Ahmet does for a job still remains unknown...
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Crouching People Hidden Water
On the boat from Asia to Europe.
Fistik Gimmie Manita
Zim's first day in Istanbul. Accost seven Turkish dudes in the street who we see are concealing Rizzla. The white rolling papers grabbed our attention like a Pakistani to a gun show. We followed them down to the waters edge and get smoked out. We then spend the rest of the day with these Turkish dudes who spoke no English... Not one word! Drink tea, play backgammon, smoke in park, and after a day of other fun confused activities go back to their house to watch Turkish hip-hop TV. With the aid of various teenage contraptions we enhance the hip-hop with some Turkish plant life.
Despite the purchase of this dictionary we were still unable to communicate with any of these people. Our hands proved to be the best dictionary of all.
As the offer is made for one of them to go and be the delivery boy for our dinner we decide that we have sat for too long and propose getting the boat back to Europe that we had taken to Asia that morning. We eat a hearty meal of Chip Buttie (French Fries in bread).
The Healthy Vegetarian Alternative
Our personal escort (one of the dudes we had been chilling with) takes us to have some tea and listen to a teahouse full of Turkish people belting out songs by a Turkish man on guitar. There we meet his sister and her friends and the day goes from good to much better. His sister and her friends then bridge the continental gap with us to bring us back to our hostel. There we start a party at the bar in the basement, and it doesn't take long for word to get around. The place fills pretty quickly and the music get louder as the place is packed with dancing. One of the workers at the bar gets really drunk and to the amusement of everyone in the place starts to work all the girls in the room with more effort then success. After our friends sister tells us that her father owns three guns and will kill her and us if we do not get them home on time we escort them back to a taxi, but cancel our plan to leave the next day in hopes of meeting them again. One of our friends (an Israeli American) is befriended by one of the Turkish group (a Syrian Turk in full hejab) by the time they get in the taxi she has given him her ring and a signed A3 photo of herself. On our walk back to the hostel we are stopped by the same police twice and asked the same questions both times. No matter where you go the police suck and boredom makes them suck even more. As we get to our hostel we decide we are not ready for sleep and go down to the bar again which is now closed. We meet up with another friend and sit in the bar talking about our day and other shit. Our drunken friend the barman gets into a physical fight with his boss after his boss throws a CD at his head. Zim intervenes only to divert the bosses aggression on to him. Chris ever the diplomat manages to get us free beers and makes peace. All is well as the boss passes out in front of the TV that is not on (sshhh he doesn't know). Pretty good first day out in Istanbul. Who knows what tomorrow has in store...?
Despite the purchase of this dictionary we were still unable to communicate with any of these people. Our hands proved to be the best dictionary of all.
As the offer is made for one of them to go and be the delivery boy for our dinner we decide that we have sat for too long and propose getting the boat back to Europe that we had taken to Asia that morning. We eat a hearty meal of Chip Buttie (French Fries in bread).
The Healthy Vegetarian Alternative
Our personal escort (one of the dudes we had been chilling with) takes us to have some tea and listen to a teahouse full of Turkish people belting out songs by a Turkish man on guitar. There we meet his sister and her friends and the day goes from good to much better. His sister and her friends then bridge the continental gap with us to bring us back to our hostel. There we start a party at the bar in the basement, and it doesn't take long for word to get around. The place fills pretty quickly and the music get louder as the place is packed with dancing. One of the workers at the bar gets really drunk and to the amusement of everyone in the place starts to work all the girls in the room with more effort then success. After our friends sister tells us that her father owns three guns and will kill her and us if we do not get them home on time we escort them back to a taxi, but cancel our plan to leave the next day in hopes of meeting them again. One of our friends (an Israeli American) is befriended by one of the Turkish group (a Syrian Turk in full hejab) by the time they get in the taxi she has given him her ring and a signed A3 photo of herself. On our walk back to the hostel we are stopped by the same police twice and asked the same questions both times. No matter where you go the police suck and boredom makes them suck even more. As we get to our hostel we decide we are not ready for sleep and go down to the bar again which is now closed. We meet up with another friend and sit in the bar talking about our day and other shit. Our drunken friend the barman gets into a physical fight with his boss after his boss throws a CD at his head. Zim intervenes only to divert the bosses aggression on to him. Chris ever the diplomat manages to get us free beers and makes peace. All is well as the boss passes out in front of the TV that is not on (sshhh he doesn't know). Pretty good first day out in Istanbul. Who knows what tomorrow has in store...?
Sunday, January 30, 2005
I don't mean to be mean.
In Istanbul I met a guy called Gordon Gaylord. I don't mean to mock the aflicted but ... Ha Ha Ha
Saturday, January 29, 2005
Appalling bus drivers
Aiya Sophia
I have arrived in Istanbul and I would like to lodge a complaint about Turkish busses, more specifically their drivers as the busses are immaculate complete with steward. Turkey is blessed with motorways that any formula 1 driver would be pleased with. 3 lanes of seamless black asphalt stretching out in to the distance. It is a shame however, that the drivers are completely incompetent. Not only do they drive well within the posted speed limit, they also slow down for corners and even, god forbid, give way to let others pass. This is not how the driver of any long distance vehicle should drive as we all know. Might is right and as he is at the helm of one of the largest on the road - with an engine to match no doubt - he should surely put the hammer down and be going hell for leather. Alas such is not the case and thus the "short" journey of 350Kms from Ankara to Istanbul took the best part of 7 hours. Which if my calculations are correct means that we were traveling at an average speed of 50 Km\Hr. A measly 31MPH. This, quite frankly is not acceptable.
Friday, January 28, 2005
Exotic Misunderstandings
To alleviate some of the boredom of waiting around for my new passport I decided one evening to try and score some kind of plant based muscle relaxant. After much wandering around and not much success I ended up talking with this young guy who was handing out flyers. I use talking in the loosest possible sense of the word as he spoke no English whatsoever and my Turkish isn't up to much to say the least, but I managed to get the message across - or so I thought - and shortly afterwards we were on our way to his friend's house.
When we fınally arrive at the flat I am shown in to a room that is stacked floor to ceiling wıth all manner of pornographic plastic prosthesis and titillating toys. After a while they see that I am not really that impressed or interested and so ask me what exactly I want. Once again I make the internationally recognized hand signal for weed at which point they all shake their heads vigourously and in unison make the internationally recognized hand signal for...self love.
I am not sure at what point our wires had got crossed, or even how? Needless to say I left empty handed despite their best efforts to sell me an inflatable friend.
I remained friends with the boy who took me there and saw him on a number of occasions during the next week. He kept on trying to give me his phone number even though we couldn't even communicate face to face. I tried explaining this to him but of course it fell on deaf ears...I took his number.
When we fınally arrive at the flat I am shown in to a room that is stacked floor to ceiling wıth all manner of pornographic plastic prosthesis and titillating toys. After a while they see that I am not really that impressed or interested and so ask me what exactly I want. Once again I make the internationally recognized hand signal for weed at which point they all shake their heads vigourously and in unison make the internationally recognized hand signal for...self love.
I am not sure at what point our wires had got crossed, or even how? Needless to say I left empty handed despite their best efforts to sell me an inflatable friend.
I remained friends with the boy who took me there and saw him on a number of occasions during the next week. He kept on trying to give me his phone number even though we couldn't even communicate face to face. I tried explaining this to him but of course it fell on deaf ears...I took his number.
Wasted time in Ankara
Managed to waste 5 days in Ankara doing not much at all, despite the huge ammount of things to see. Had to get a new passport from embassy $100!!! The British embassy seems to be the farthest one away from the town centre and up a big hill and in the snow. But it does have good views.
On the way back stopped of at the Iraqi embassy to see about gettıng a visa. The consul refused point blank to issue me with even an aplicatıon form unless I had a reason for going other than tourism. After one look at my passport however, he laughed and said that being British I wouldn't need a visa and then wished me well on my travels.
On the way back stopped of at the Iraqi embassy to see about gettıng a visa. The consul refused point blank to issue me with even an aplicatıon form unless I had a reason for going other than tourism. After one look at my passport however, he laughed and said that being British I wouldn't need a visa and then wished me well on my travels.
Hello Turkey
Arrıved in Turkey to find myself in Europe although still find myself being woken up at some un-godly hour by the call to prayer and can never quite manage to drop off again. This not helped by the fact that it is snowing outside and I left both of my blankets on the bus and so am sleeping in all of my clothes - again. Took the oppertunity to sneak into an empty room and relieve the future occpant of all of their spare bedding.
Subscribe to Posts [Atom]